I apologize for not having posted here in such a long time, but as the ones who follow me on twitter might know I am extremely busy editing my novel (which goes so far as to a change of title). In any case this is a post I have been thinking about for quiet some time.
Being in my midthirties I often think about what I have so far achieved in life and what I dreamt about ten years ago. I am sure you all know these thoughts. When this sort of thoughts comes up you sooner or later reach the point of "The Road not Taken". You start wondering if decisions you made years ago were the right ones or if the other road would have been the better choice.
Lately I wonder about a different thing: What do we actually ask ourselves these questions? If you think about it, it is a pretty useless way of torturing yourself, since it literally doesn't lead anywhere. It doesn't matter if breaking up with your ex six years ago was right or wrong. No only that he or she might be married now, but because as a matter of fact you broke up. No emotional torment is ever going to change that. This goes for everything, from rejected job oportunities, to relationships or business oportunities. And we all know it!
So the question is, why do we still keep lamenting about it? My theory is, that we do that for two very different reasons.
First the human being is an egoistic creature. Most of you will now roll with the eyes, but I think it is true and we need to accept it because only if we accept it, we can control this instinct. It is also mainly a good thing if we don't let it out of hand, as it is partly a survival instinct. Only if we take care of ourselves we can survive. But this is not what I was hinting at. Actually what I meant was the fact, that we think so often about roads not taken, because we would like to live out all options in order to find the best one finally choose this one. Isn't it? It is the human nature, yet we all know this is not possible, so why wasting time with the thought of it?
Second and in my eyes the more important reason is that we are partly masochists, constantly trying to punish ourselves for errors commited in the past. How else can you explain, that we remember things like the first error the teacher marked in our first school test, but cannot remember our boss's birthday even if our life depended on it? Maybe it is about time we forgive ourselves for errors in the past and look ahead instead. Because if we constantly look to the past we won't see what is coming and commit the error we might be able to avoid otherwise.
I don't want to be all philosophical but these are just some thoughts I wanted to share with all of you and maybe you find this worth a thought of your own.
