When hearing about "abuse in relationships" most people simply think about wife beating husbands. While this is surely the biggest problem when is comes to abuse, there are many other forms of abuse.
Sometimes the roles are reversed and the man is being beaten by the woman. A lot of people will now think that this doesn't happen or that it cannot be the bad, but it is. Although men usually are physically stronger than women the solution is never to retaliate physically.
First of all most men have a problem with getting abusive against a woman (Which is good thing!!!) even if it is to defend themselves. The other problem these men face is the public humilation. Unfortunately a lot of ignorant people go and ridicule men if they admit to being beaten by their wives. The physical abuse these men experience is the secondary problem, the main problem is the psychological effect. These men feel alone and isolated. The solution, talking about it, often creates a bigger problem for them. We as a society have to understand that these things happen and are real. These men are not wimps, these men are suffering and living in a terrible situation. They deserve the same compassion and support as women that are being beaten.
Another form of abuse is the psychological abuse, which happens more often than one suspects. Often enough not even the victims are aware that they are being abused. It can start with little things when we avoid doing things just to avoid having a discussion with our partner. The next stage is when we don't do things to avoid our partners reaction, no matter if it is a fight, an action etc. I know a lot of you will think that in a relationship you have to make compromises, but that it not what I am referring to. In a relationship where you are being mentally abused there is always something beneath: Fear!
It doesn't matter if it is fear of loosing the partner or of something else happening. It often results in emotional blackmail, with sentences like: "I understand that you cannot fix the door frame, I will try it myself and will be careful not to fall down the ladder." Expressions like these apply to the sense of protection and guilt. Of course this is a rather "mild" situation, but when frases like "if you put on more than 20 pounds I would leave you" are said the situation gets serious. This can result in serious health problems such as eathing disorders.
This sort of abuse can happen in all sort of relationships, not just in romantic relationships. Most of the time none of the parties is consciously aware of it. The line is often very thin between emotional blackmail and a compromise. Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at a our relationships from a different perspective.
