English writings

The Mother

By

Lorca Gonzalez

 

Mothers are the most wonderful thing in the world, are they not? They love their children unconditionally despite their flaws and do their best to take care of them and often enough manage things for the sake of their children nobody thought even possible.  

The mother this story is about was not any different in that respect. When her children were born, she instantaneously fell in love with them. She loved the infants more than she had ever thought even possible, nursed and nourished them. Since children need a home to grow up in and blossom, she arranged the most beautiful and rich place she could imagine for them. She spoiled them in any way and worked hard to offer them whatever they needed.

But when they were young they would often break things or soil them when playing. She smiled, consoling herself with the fact that they were still young and would learn to appreciate things, when they grew older. She then cleaned and fixed the things as good as she could, although they never were as amazing as before.

As time went by it became harder and harder for her to maintain this attitude, as she started to think that they were now old and wise enough to anticipate the consequences of their actions. This is why from time to time she would punish them for their carelessness, by taking things they cared about away from them.

As this did not seem to change their way of treating what she had given them, she decided she had to take different actions, hoping to make them understand the value of the things she had offered them. So once in a while, she would not only take something away from them she had given them, but also take or break something they had gotten for themselves. It broke her heart to do this, but she was convinced it was for their own good.

While the children suffered the loss for a short time, they went back to their usual reckless behavior soon enough much to the mother’s dismay. Although she still loved her offspring she felt the anger, over the ingratitude they were showing, constantly grow.

One day she took a step back and really looked at what her sons and daughters had done to the home she had provided them with. What she saw seemed like a wasteland full of dirt and destruction. Everything she had so carefully and lovingly arranged for them had been lost. The pain she felt was not over the things that had been polluted or broken, but because she had provided those things with love and devotion. Those things symbolized her love and devotion for her children. Their disrespect for these things felt to her like disrespect for her love and for her and this broke her heart above all.

So one day Mother Nature decided it was time for humanity to understand, that they could not go on treating earth this careless. She had modeled earth the best she could to offer them a beautiful place to live in and they had been destroying it from the minute there were born. She made it clear that time was running up and that it was their last chance because she had already lost her patience. She sent earthquakes and catastrophes of all kind to show them that if they did not start taking care of earth she would take it away from them.

Maybe it is about time we show our mother some gratitude for what she has provided us with and start taking properly care of it?

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Kane Mansion

                                                                                                               

By

Lorca Gonzalez

Nina woke up in a decaying and wet room. She felt sick and the part of her head, where she had received the blow, was pounding. Slowly everything came back to her.

Ian, her boyfriend, had said earlier that night, that he had a surprise for her. Shortly after 11 pm he had told her to get dressed and they had taken the car to Kane Mansion an old house on top of the cliffs.

It was not only the sort of building that inspired urban legends, but it also inspired teenage girls’ romantic dreams. Some 60 or 70 years earlier the Kanes were the closest thing to nobility River Falls had ever seen. Their parties were legendary and discussed for weeks both before and afterwards. Those who were invited felt more than flattered and as people used to say had “made it”. Nina did not know exactly what had happened but apparently some sort of family tragedy had hit the Kanes, a child had died or something like that. The family had afterwards left town and Kane Mansion started its descent into oblivion. Rumors said the Kanes had passed away in Europe and that no heir to the house could be found.

Anyhow Ian knew how Nina fancied the place so he had cut a hole in the fence and arranged a midnight picnic next to the dry pool with candles and everything. Although she had been shivering the whole time Nina thought it was really cute, as Ian wasn’t usually the romantic type. He said he had forgotten something in the car and had gone to grab it. She had walked around a little bit to shake off the cold while waiting for him, when she saw some movement next to the house. The next thing she remembered was a sharp pain in the back of her head and waking up in this room.

She got to her feet fighting down the nausea and carefully she took a few steps. She was not feeling good, but she could manage. Dizzily looking around she assumed that she still had to be next to the pool in the ground floor, as the light from the candles Ian had lit shone through the windows but she was inside the house! The room she was in looked like a small salon and for some reason it seemed strange.

It was the sort of room where back in the old days the lady of the house would sit down to knit or draw. The couch seemed to remember being purple and the table was broken. Wallpaper was hanging down everywhere and the curtains seemed to be made more of holes than anything else. But the room still had some sort of past glamour, like an old movie star in the moonlight projecting a memory of its long gone beauty. The only thing destroying this romantic image was the smell. It smelled wet and dusty, but there was also something else, something Nina could not identify or describe but it was disgusting, more than disgusting and for some reason it scared her.

She did not want to think, how she had gotten into the room or who had taken her there. Her head was hurting and she was freezing. All Nina knew was that she wanted to get of there and find Ian. She wanted to go home. She thought the room was creepy, not because of its poor state or the stench, there was something else. Then it hit her: The room had no door!

A first Nina thought she might have overlooked it due to the rotting wallpaper, the nausea and her pounding head, but as she walked around the room carefully looking at the walls and behind the broken furniture she started to panic. How had she gotten there? And why would anybody have a room without a door in the first place? She tried to steady herself.  She knew she had to be close to the pool and downstairs. She would smash one of the windows and get out. Once she was home and safe she could still wonder about the room.  Nina looked around for something to smash the window with and laid her eyes upon the broken table. She picked it up and threw it against the left window as hard as she could. The effort made her loose balance and she fell. This was all her pounding head had needed for her to black out again. When Nina woke up this time, she immediately noticed something was wrong: The light! The room appeared to be much darker than before. “Don’t think just get out of here!” She said to herself but when she got to the broken window her heart almost stopped. While she had expected to see the pool and the burnt candles there was nothing! Not just the dark property or sky or sea or whatever you see when looking out of a window, there was simply nothing! Outside of the rotting room there was just perfect blackness!

Nina stumbled backwards and onto the couch: How could this be? A room without a door was one thing, that some renovation gone wrong may have resulted in, but this was something totally different. This was just impossible!

She put her hand to the back of her head and flinched. She had hit her head pretty badly from the amount of pain she experienced and the encrusted blood she felt in her hair. Something had to be wrong with her eyes! That had to be it! Her eyes were just tricking her due to her head injury, but why was she still seeing the room? Wait a minute that was exactly the question! If the light from outside had faded together with the rest of the world and there was no visible light source inside the room, how could she still make the room out? It was dim but she could still see it. Panic started to overwhelm her as less and less things made sense. Again she got to her feet and approached the smashed window. Nina focused her eyes into the darkness, hopelessly trying to make out anything, a shape, a faraway light, anything. There was just nothing. But there was not just nothing to see, there wasn’t anything at all!  Nothing any of her other senses could pick up:  no sound, no smell, not even a breeze. As weird as it sounds there wasn’t even a temperature. The world outside just wasn’t. It appeared as if nothing beyond the window frame existed.

 Nina turned around desperately trying to think, despite the pounding pain in her head that seemed to be getting worse by the second. She looked restlessly around for a clue she already knew wasn’t there. She decided she had to calm herself first, so she sat down on the dusty couch and closed her eyes. After a few deep breaths she felt a superficial calm that at least helped her to focus. Suddenly she heard it, somebody had whispered her name. Actually not really whispered, it felt more like she was eavesdropping on a faraway conversation. Had this been Ian? Of course it had to be, he was surely looking for her! Nina tried to shout to tell him where she was, how weird things were, but then she found she had no voice! Like everything outside the room it seemed to have ceased to exist. She wasn’t just hoarse; it felt as if her body had forgotten how to make a sound! Nina felt more helpless than she could have ever imagined possible. Then she heard it again, this time she was sure: It was Ian’s voice saying her name. She wondered where it came from. She got up from the couch listening carefully and then she felt like her heart stopped! It came from the window! But how was this possible? She got closer to the window and again looked into the darkness, trying to use all her senses. There it was again, Ian’s voice, this time she heard him much clearer. Again she touched the back of her head and flinched at the intense pain.

Ian’s voice came clearly from outside and she knew that what she was seeing when looking outside could not be, so she decided to use the only option she could think off. She got hold of the window frame and with some effort pulled both her legs up. She twisted around managing to sit on the sill. She paused for a second took a deep breath and jumped.

“Nina! Honey are you ok?” Ian was holding her and his voice sounded worried. Nina shivered and her head was still pounding. “Where were you?” she managed to say. “I told you I had forgotten something in the car. Actually I just didn’t want you to see it before.”  He said. “Somebody hit me and there was this weird room.” Nina tried to explain, as the memory started to set in. “What? What room, what are talking about?” Ian replied confused. Nina felt how she got mad, at his confusion, considering the nightmare she had just been through: “Someone hit me and dragged me into a room, a room with no door. I wanted to jump out of the window, but there was just nothing outside and I mean really nothing.” Ian whipped the smile off his face seeing that she was hurt and still shaken. “Honey you must have dreamt it! I came back from the car and saw you trip. You fell down and hit your head pretty badly. It took me about half a minute to wake you up.” Nina looked startled. “You mean I was just unconscious? I was never inside the house?” Ian shook his head and replied: “It was all in your head. We should get you to a hospital, you may have a concussion.” Nina nodded as Ian lifted her up and walked over to the car.

As Ian turned his back to Kane Mansion the wind howled through the broken window on the ground floor and a piece of rotten wallpaper became loose and landed on the once purple couch.

    

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Stupid Heart

By

Lorca González

I wake up in the middle of the night

It tells me to reach for you by my side

Although I recall you’re not there

I still hope my hand brushes your hair

Oh stupid heart, how could you forget?

 It wants me to tell you the joke I heard

But it’s been years since we spoke a word.

Every room without you feels wrong

The music seems always a blues song

Oh stupid heart, how could you forget?

This foggy day comes back every year

It’s the third time I’ve returned here.

I put the flowers on the marble stone

I cannot believe, you’re really  gone

Oh stupid heart, please never forget.

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Finally here it is again:

The Diary

By

Lorca González

Day 1

The trial is over and the verdict „guilty“ did not surprise me at all. Now I am here in what is going to be my last “home”. The guards have taken everything that makes me “me”, my wallet, my jewellery, my clothes. I bet they would even strip me off my tattoo and my scars if they could, but those are mine. Maybe that is all that we end up being in the end, a collection of scars. Well, at least they allow me to write a diary. So I guess this means, that all I am now is in this diary.

The door is locked. My cell has no windows and I am by myself. It is dark, just the flickering neon light. God I would die for a normal light bulb, as dull as it sounds.

My room is a perfect square. A bed, a table and a chair, a shelf, a metal toilet and a washing basin. The toilet sucks the most, although I am alone I hate having to take a shit in the middle of the room. It is not in vain that they say don’t shit where you live or was it work? Whatever?

The light is turned out for a second and back on. They have told me this means 10 minutes until bed time.

Day 2

The first night is over. I think I haven’t been able to sleep at all or maybe I slept all night, I am not sure. I cannot even tell if my eyes are open or closed at night. Let’s see how the routines are. I guess there is not much to it anyhow, but it is not like the hand you a manual, when you get in here.

Day 5

The routine has settled in. Actually it settled in five minutes after my arrival.

Nothing surprises you here. All is neat and effective. There is nothing that doesn’t serve a purpose. The guards treat us as if we were part of the inventory. No better or worse then the chairs or tables. A part of me wishes they would treat us worse, as this would mean they would notice the difference between us and the things.

Day 6

This place feels more and more like a black hole. You are swallowed by it and you know what is happening, but cannot fight it. I wonder how long it will take until the day. There are rumors of people being here for 20 years of more. Gosh, I hope that is not true.

Day 8

Today I met a few other inmates. I guess “meet” would be to much. We crossed on the corridor, while I was being taken to the court yard. The two guys wore the same orange overall as I do. They were a couple of years older then me. It is weird, but it took me some time to notice they were inmates, too. In a way, they seemed no other then the tables and chairs to me.

Day 10

My gut feeling tells me the day is near. That and the fact that some of the guards where whispering, when I walked along the corridor. To be honest I hope it is.  

Day 12

My handwriting must be scrawly right now. I woke up in the middle of night and cannot sleep anymore. But it is dark here. Not just dark, pitchblack. It is so dark, that I have the feeling, that when I close my eyes, it is brighter than when I open them.

Day 14

What am I doing here? I don’t know why I am keeping this diary. I have never done it before and I guess nobody will ever read it. It is not like anybody outside cares about me or what I have to tell.

Day 15

This diary is all the keeps me from snapping. This is why I keep writing it. I am not sure, when I realized it, but I finally did. Nobody in here talks. I think the last time I actually exchanged more then “yes” and “no” with a person was before I got here. This place feels like a grave pretending to be something else. But down the line this is all it is. A grave. My grave.

Last day

Today is the day. Today is my day. Everybody came for me. It is the day of my execution. When the judge announced the verdict he said: “There is no other punishment for a crime as cruel and despicable as yours then death.” Actually it made me laugh! That little slut had it coming all along. I mean if I was going to kill her anyway, it was just smart to make the most out of it right? It was just my way of being economic, to extend it. After all she was only one of many and the faster they died, the faster I needed replacement. Right?

There is one thought going through my head over and over again today. It is the saying “to knock someone’s light out” meaning to kill somebody. Funny, as it is implies that they will bring darkness over me, right? But what they want to do by executing me, is to shut down the darkness inside me, right? So I guess for me death will truly mean I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, death, no matter how dark it is, always being brighter than my own blackened soul.

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Sorry, but the Diary will be reposted at a later stage.
Although at the point of submission to the competion it wasn't yet posted and so it was within the rules, I want to avoid any problems. Once the competition is over I will repost it.

Thanks for your understanding.

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Usually English is not my preferred language for writing, not because I don't like it, just because I am not used it. But whenever I write something I will publish it here.

Until then I will leave you one of my poems. It is kind of dark, but I still like it:

Innocence by Lorca Gonzalez

Dear child of my heart,

where did you go?

The more I look for you

the less I can find you

The darkness surrounds me

and the cold embraces my mind

while the memory of your bright light

is what keeps me going

Dear child of my heart

where did you go?

The more I look for you

the less I can find you

As I walk through the darkness

The demons reach out for me

Lies, hate, envy and pain

They invade my heart merciless

Dear child of my heart

where did you go?

The more I look for you

the less I can find you

I wish myself back in time

When I was protected by you

Dear child of my heart,

Innocence of my soul,

Unaware of human treachery