I am a spanish woman living in Germany and I was shocked as was everyone else, when the events that took place in Cologne on New Year's Eve came to light. What many people living outside of Germany might not be aware of is that this happened in many other German cities, such as Stuttgart where I was partying with some friends. Luckily I was with a mixed group (men and women) and our group was left in peace, although we learnt later that we were barely 100 m away from the place were the assaults took place. All of this has taken place six weeks ago and although it pains to admit it, it has changed things for worse.
As women in Germany we were used to feeling farely safe, if we took some basic precautions. Usually you could walk to the car at night without breaking into sweat if you made sure to park in a proper area and you could give a stranger directions if he asked.
Nowadays this has changed, although most of us have a tough time admitting it. We make sure we acompany each other to our cars and check out people suspiciously if they ask us something, especially if we are by ourselves.
Women are buying more pepperspray and taking self-defence courses and while this is never a bad idea, it upsets me, because something was stolen from us. But this is not just the feeling of safety but also our trust and optimism was shaken.
I recently returned from a trip and my last train was leaving at midnight. I was sitting in a compartment with my ton of luggage and texting my brother. Then two young men, who looked arabic entered the compartment and tried to catch my attention. I replied to their "hello" and then went on about my business, while they broke into song among other things. Usually I would have grinned and stayed in the comparment but nowadays I have to admit that I left the comparment and went into one that was crowded with many people. Later I saw the two guys again walking through the train, apparantly looking for something or someone...
Some of you might call me a racist now, which I will not accept, because racism speaks against everything I believe in. But I can't deny that my behaviour was influenced by their ethnics and the idea "Better safe than sorry". These two men were most likely harmless and just trying to entertain themselves during a boring train ride or maybe trying to make friends but these assaults on New Year's took my cooleness away and I know I am not alone in that respect. Had I changed that compartment if the two men had been caucasian or asian? Maybe, but I can't tell for sure and that alone makes me angry.
Every day we hear new stories about supposed refugees "misbehaving" the most recently involved their behaviour in public pools (I will spare you the details). While we all know on a rational basis that these incidents involve only a minority of the refugees it is getting harder to remain welcoming.
I know that most people who come here, try to built a life for themselves, try to fit into society and are grateful and simply are looking for safety. But we all know that although this is hard to admit in public, that there are also others, who come here and are spoiling a coexistence in a multicultural country.
It is difficult not to resent the politicians who are leaving the population hanging and recommend a "behavioural code" for women. I thought our society was passed victim blaming but if women are the ones who should change their behaviour, wouldn't this mean that it was their behaviour that caused the attack? I feel taken advantage of and angry that my donations and support might go to people who attack and humiliate women.
It is difficult not to resent the politicians who are leaving the population hanging and recommend a "behavioural code" for women. I thought our society was passed victim blaming but if women are the ones who should change their behaviour, wouldn't this mean that it was their behaviour that caused the attack? I feel taken advantage of and angry that my donations and support might go to people who attack and humiliate women.
After the events of New Year's Eve there was only talk about what women should do differently and that is not acceptable. We women have fought hard for our freedom and we won't back up on it because it is uncomfortable to teach the new guests the rules of our society.
Our politicians seem to have forgotten that they have not only a duty to protect and help the refugees but also the european population, which includes many women.
Edit February 21st 2016:
This post has been quoted several times already and sadly in some cases, people have distorted what I was trying to say. I had considered taking this down, but instead have decided to clarify the message.
First let me be clear: I am in no way prejudiced against any religion, race or nationality. Unlike most people I have made an effort to learn about the islamic religion and have learnt that the Islam is something completely different to what extremists are trying to make us believe. They are just using a religion as a made up excuse to justify their crimes but that it how far the connection goes.
What this article is about is how the government is letting its citizens down by silencing these crimes in the first place and then failing to persecute them. It is a fact that with the wave of refugees a lot of criminals (for the lack of a better word) are coming into Europe as well and the governments have utterly failed not only to identify them but also to persecute them in cases where identification was possible.
This is leading to a situation where suspicion grows out of fear, even if we don't want to. This is also making it harder for the "real refugees"to adapt because they have to fight the fear people are feeling and prove to the Europeans that they are just looking for a new, safe home.
But reading the news every day you can't deny the facts and these events weren't islolated. Can you blame a woman after the events of New Year's Eve if she is suspicious of a group of arabic or north african men, when she is walking by herself at night? This has nothing to do with racism but with fear that was caused by the recent events and especially the lack of action by the government.
So I am not blaming the refugees but the governments. It is their duty to keep us safe and they are failing
Edit February 21st 2016:
This post has been quoted several times already and sadly in some cases, people have distorted what I was trying to say. I had considered taking this down, but instead have decided to clarify the message.
First let me be clear: I am in no way prejudiced against any religion, race or nationality. Unlike most people I have made an effort to learn about the islamic religion and have learnt that the Islam is something completely different to what extremists are trying to make us believe. They are just using a religion as a made up excuse to justify their crimes but that it how far the connection goes.
What this article is about is how the government is letting its citizens down by silencing these crimes in the first place and then failing to persecute them. It is a fact that with the wave of refugees a lot of criminals (for the lack of a better word) are coming into Europe as well and the governments have utterly failed not only to identify them but also to persecute them in cases where identification was possible.
This is leading to a situation where suspicion grows out of fear, even if we don't want to. This is also making it harder for the "real refugees"to adapt because they have to fight the fear people are feeling and prove to the Europeans that they are just looking for a new, safe home.
But reading the news every day you can't deny the facts and these events weren't islolated. Can you blame a woman after the events of New Year's Eve if she is suspicious of a group of arabic or north african men, when she is walking by herself at night? This has nothing to do with racism but with fear that was caused by the recent events and especially the lack of action by the government.
So I am not blaming the refugees but the governments. It is their duty to keep us safe and they are failing
