Life after New Year's Eve 2016 for Women in Germany

I am a spanish woman living in Germany and I was shocked as was everyone else, when the events that took place in Cologne on New Year's Eve came to light. What many people living outside of Germany might not be aware of is that this happened in many other German cities, such as Stuttgart where I was partying with some friends. Luckily I was with a mixed group (men and women) and our group was left in peace, although we learnt later that we were barely 100 m away from the place were the assaults took place. All of this has taken place six weeks ago and although it pains to admit it, it has changed things for worse. 

As women in Germany we were used to feeling farely safe, if we took some basic precautions. Usually you could walk to the car at night without breaking into sweat if you made sure to park in a proper area and you could give a stranger directions if he asked. 

Nowadays this has changed, although most of us have a tough time admitting it. We make sure we acompany each other to our cars and check out people suspiciously if they ask us something, especially if we are by ourselves. 

Women are buying more pepperspray and taking self-defence courses and while this is never a bad idea, it upsets me, because something was stolen from us. But this is not just the feeling of safety but also our trust and optimism was shaken. 

I recently returned from a trip and my last train was leaving at midnight. I was sitting in a compartment with my ton of luggage and texting my brother. Then two young men, who looked arabic entered the compartment and tried to catch my attention. I replied to their "hello" and then went on about my business, while they broke into song among other things. Usually I would have grinned and stayed in the comparment but nowadays I have to admit that I left the comparment and went into one that was crowded with many people. Later I saw the two guys again walking through the train, apparantly looking for something or someone... 

Some of you might call me a racist now, which I will not accept, because racism speaks against everything I believe in. But I can't deny that my behaviour was influenced by their ethnics and the idea "Better safe than sorry". These two men were most likely harmless and just trying to entertain themselves during a boring train ride or maybe trying to make friends but these assaults on New Year's took my cooleness away and I know I am not alone in that respect. Had I changed that compartment if the two men had been caucasian or asian? Maybe, but I can't tell for sure and that alone makes me angry. 

Every day we hear new stories about supposed refugees "misbehaving" the most recently involved their behaviour in public pools (I will spare you the details). While we all know on a rational basis that these incidents involve only a minority of the refugees it is getting harder to remain welcoming. 

I know that most people who come here, try to built a life for themselves, try to fit into society and are grateful and simply are looking for safety. But we all know that although this is hard to admit in public, that there are also others, who come here and are spoiling a coexistence in a multicultural country.

It is difficult not to resent the politicians who are leaving the population hanging and recommend a "behavioural code" for women. I thought our society was passed victim blaming but if women are the ones who should change their behaviour, wouldn't this mean that it was their behaviour that caused the attack? I feel taken advantage of and angry that my donations and support might go to people who attack and humiliate women. 

After the events of New Year's Eve there was only talk about what women should do differently and that is not acceptable. We women have fought hard for our freedom and we won't back up on it because it is uncomfortable to teach the new guests the rules of our society. 

Our politicians seem to have forgotten that they have not only a duty to protect and help the refugees but also the european population, which includes many women.

Edit February 21st 2016:
This post has been quoted several times already and sadly in some cases, people have distorted what I was trying to say. I had considered taking this down, but instead have decided to clarify the message.

First let me be clear: I am in no way prejudiced against any religion, race or nationality. Unlike most people I have made an effort to learn about the islamic religion and have learnt that the Islam is something completely different to what extremists are trying to make us believe. They are just using a religion as a made up excuse to justify their crimes but that it how far the connection goes.

What this article is about is how the government is letting its citizens down by silencing these crimes in the first place and then failing to persecute them. It is a fact that with the wave of refugees a lot of criminals (for the lack of a better word) are coming into Europe as well and the governments have utterly failed not only to identify them but also to persecute them in cases where identification was possible.

This is leading to a situation where suspicion grows out of fear, even if we don't want to. This is also making it harder for the "real refugees"to adapt because they have to fight the fear people are feeling and prove to the Europeans that they are just looking for a new, safe home.

But reading the news every day you can't deny the facts and these events weren't islolated. Can you blame a woman after the events of New Year's Eve if she is suspicious of a group of arabic or north african men, when she is walking by herself at night? This has nothing to do with racism but with fear that was caused by the recent events and especially the lack of action by the government.

So I am not blaming the refugees but the governments. It is their duty to keep us safe and they are failing 

Some thoughts on the European Migrant Crisis

My parents moved from Spain to Germany in the 1960ies in search of a better life, which they found. My family has enjoyed a comfortable life thanks to hard work (lots of it) and the chances this country has offered us. So immigration is something personal for me.

Now Europe is facing the biggest refugee crisis since World War II and many people, including myself, are starting to feel confused and anxious about the situation. 

First of all we all agree that the situation in Syria is terrible and tragic and that it is everyone's duty to help people running from such a horrific war. We have organized donations and tried to support the refugees in any way possible. These people need our help and we are willing to give him, as has been proven in the last couple of months.  

But it would be a lie to say that there is no worry attached to this topic.  We see pictures of trains full of people and people walking towards borders. The current number states 800.000 refugees for Germany alone and they expect the number to reach 1.000.000 by the end of the year. That is about the same amount as the complete population of San Jose (CA) and there is no end in sight.

The governments in Europe are constantly speaking about the advantages for Europe because of the refugees and how our countries can handle it. But the question is: Who can really handle it and for how long? Where is the limit and shouldn’t there be a plan before the limit is reached?

How is it possible that a country like Spain has been assigned the third highest refugee quota, while it has problems in sustaining its own population? This may sound a little selfish, but since it is my home country I can’t help feeling for it. I am tired of hearing stories of how people commit suicide because they can't avoid eviction and how people have to go through the trash of supermarkets to find something for their family for dinner. The latter story I have witnessed myself and it was heartbreaking. 

Many people are shouting for border controls and even closed borders. While I can understand their concerns this would be the easy and unkind way to solve this problem. The truth is that the refugees didn't leave their home for fun but because they didn't have any other choice. While we worry about the next promotion or if we can get that new car we want, they are used to worry about getting home alive. What they have been through is certainly beyond our imagination. We have to help them, simply because this is the right thing to do. 

One thing that is missing in this situation is a proper leadership. Governments can't be oblivious to the fear of the population in Europe and yet they are still not presenting a proper plan of action. It has already been said that accommodation for 200.000 refugees in Germany alone is already missing and more people are coming. This is not considering that the winter is approaching and that those presently housed in tents have to be moved into proper accommodations, when the temperatures drop.

 There are rumors about empty flats being forcefully seized by the state for housing among other things. Of course this scares people not because they don't want to help but because they feel they don't have a say and they don't know what they are at. 

Maybe the present amount of refugees can be handled but how much more can? According to some source 9 million Syrians alone are on the run. That is more than the population of New York City. In addition there are many migrants from other countries. Could Europe still handle that? Would it be acceptable to close the border at a certain number and say: Sorry, we are booked out? Certainly not!

While taking in refugees is the right thing to do, it is an improvised solution to a very different problem: The war in Syria! The truth is that the refugee crisis is merely a symptom of the war.

Down the line it is obvious to me, that people want to help but they feel anxious because our leaders don’t seem to have a solid plan. It seems as if they are making it up as they go along. That situation is dangerous because the fear of the European population can be used by racist organizations. The governments should ensure the people, Europeans and refugees alike, that they know what they are doing.

Edit 22-11-2015:
I wrote this post before the attacks in Paris. I have to admit that my first instinct had been to take this post down. Like the rest of Europe I was shocked and scared. Now I have decided to repost it, as my way of support for Paris and refugees alike.