Some thoughts on War, Tolerance, Freedom and Kindness

Some of my regular readers might be aware that I am studying history and therefore am very interested in the evolution of human society and of humanity itself. Unfortunately the more I learn the more I realize that we haven't evolved at all, as least by far not at much and we should have. What is worse is that we lie to ourselves about having evolved. It was this realization that let me to write this post. 

Let's start with my thoughts on war. One thing is for sure: War is certainly one of the most terrible things humanity is capable of. Albert Einstein's quote still states the very simple truth: 

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,
but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

It doesn't matter how far we look back there have always been cruel wars fought by humanity. While the Roman Empire is to be considered an important step on the evolution of modern society it was of course build on wars. Has our attitude about wars really changed since then? 

I am afraid is hasn't, at least not enough. I have caught myself a few times thinking that a certain conflict had been necessary due to one party's actions. Isn't that proof enough? That we still consider something the leads to the death of thousands even an option is atrocious! I am sure some of you thought like this on occasions, when we saw news reports of civilians being killed by their own government etc. 

Maybe war is in these cases some sort of lesser evil, but isn't that proof of how humanity has still a long way to go? The truth is, that it is not enough until every person has learnt that war is never an option to solve a conflict but that is should be something of a long gone past.
Presently we are again seeing the cruelest side of war in Gaza. We see hospitals being bombed and children being slaughtered. Honestly is doesn't matter, who did what because there cannot be any excuse for that. 

It doesn't matter, what has happened throughout history or what leader has ordered what, because it has nothing to do with the four-year-old who died in a hospital after having her tonsils removed. The four-year-old, who didn't even understand to what country or religion she belonged and just wanted to go home to her mother. Your conflict had nothing to do with her! That she paid for political leaders' ignorance is just wrong and unfair.
There is absolutely no excuse for that!

Something that is closely linked to war is the lack of tolerance. Truth to be told I am usually a very empathic person and can manage to at least understand the other person's point of view, although I might not agree. With intolerance however I cannot. It is really beyond me, why so many people are concerned about whom their neighbor prays to or whom he loves. Why does it matter? Does it change anything in your own life? No it doesn't! You will be married to the same person no matter if you neighbor has married a man or a woman. 

Actually I consider tolerance a healthy way of egoism. You mind basically your own business and leave the others in peace (As long as they are not hurting anybody of course!). I wonder why the same people that are opposing such things as same sex marriage can watch for years as women are being mistreated by their husbands. Someone please explain that logic to me! You get into your neighbor’s business to prevent them from having a loving and caring relationship but it gets too uncomfortable, when "your nosiness" could actually do some good? 

This leads me to the next point: Freedom! Freedom is not only a right but also a duty. People, who live in countries, where they can be themselves, without fearing backlash have the duty to speak up for those who cannot. We, as I count myself to these lucky people, need to raise our voices to help and support those who cannot speak for themselves. We need to draw attention to them and support them to the best of our abilities so that one day they might enjoy the same freedom we do. 

It can be simple things like signing petitions, supporting causes or even by voting for the proper government for our home countries. We need to help those who are less fortunate than us. 

This brings me finally to kindness. Kindness is the essence of the modern society we should be working towards. Only kindness will help us to close the gaps in society and make sure everybody has at least sufficient to leave. Kindness is what will prevent us from being cruel to each other and what will open our eyes to differences, we shouldn't hate but rather embrace. 

What happened to feminism?

Some 300 years ago women like Mary Wollstonecraft and others began changing the world in what became one the biggest revolutions society ever experienced. I am talking about feminism, the fight of women for equal rights in all respects and don't let the world kid you: The fight is not done yet. You don't believe me? Well, there is one simple example that will prove that to you:

How do you call a man that lives a promiscuous life? A ladies-man, a womanizer, a pick-up artist. Actually all rather "positive" terms. Right?

How do you call a woman that lives a promiscuous life? A slut.

It is a sad truth, but nonetheless it is the truth. That doesn't mean I support or condone people living a promiscuous life, I just wanted to show you an example of how different the sexes are still judged today.

This goes both ways however or why is it that usually it is assumed at the divorce and custody battle that the mother is the better choice to bring up the kids?

But still in recent years the term "feminism" has started to have a somewhat bitter taste, even for me as a woman, who considers herself a modern woman.

Let me tell a little about me to explain my point of view: I am from Spain, the home of machismo but I was brought up relatively liberal. I learnt that a woman has to remain true to herself and be independent. Only if you are independent you can make choices based on what you truly want and need. It is not fair to use a husband or partner barely as a provider. They deserve a partner who wants them for who they are and not for how much money they make.

Interesting enough in Spain women never give up their own name to take up the husband's name when they get married. It may sound insignificant, but for me the name is part of oneself and a woman remains the same person even if she gets married.

So why does the term "feminism" bother me in the meantime? Am I not living it? It recently hit me, when I was reading an article on the internet about a play I recently saw.

The problem is that many women have started to behave towards men (under the pretense of feminism) the way men used to behave against women. You can see it everyday when you open your eyes. It can be something simple as bashing at a guy for offering to carry something heavy for you (I have witnessed this more than once!) or the way women behave towards male strippers. I know many of you are rolling the eyes at this example saying but this is only for fun etc. But how often have we complained over men treating women like flesh? If we complain about their behaviour how can we behave alike? Doesn't that make us hyprocrites?

I realized that many diehard feminists mistake feminism with "men-hating" and try to make men the villains in each story. They claim that every men is staring at them with lust or that they didn't get the promition because they are a woman. They protest over literature or movies because they don't focus enough on women or argue that if a woman is the villain it is only because of men pushing her around.

Whenever I hear or read these things I can only shake my head. It appears that we are falling into the other extreme and that some women want to subdue men to get back a them. Sorry, but as a true feminist I feel the urge to distant myself from these women.

Sometimes a woman doesn't get the promotion because a man is better qualified and if you want more women-focused are: Create it! I for my part would hate to receive a promotion just because the company has to fullfill their women quota in management. I want to get a promotion because I deserve it. In my opinion a women-quota is actually against the equal rights concept, since it could lead to man not getting the promotion because he isn't a woman. Doesn't that sound sadly familiar? The truth is that 30 years ago it was just the other way around it.

Also I believe that there are good men and bad men just like there are good woman and bad women.

Now let me tell you something: Men and women are not equal! Men can dream about it as much as they want to, they can never bear children and women have to accept that usually men are physically stronger than women. These are not a prejudices but biological facts. The truth is we should embrace these differences and take advantage of them.

What is true however is that men are not better than women but neither are women better than men, we are simply different.

So for me feminism means: We have the same rights but also the same duties in the world. If a guy offers to carry something heavy for me I appreciate it the same as if a woman that is stronger than me offers it. If I don't want to be treated like flesh I shouldn't treat men like it either.

Respect goes both ways!