What happened to feminism?

Some 300 years ago women like Mary Wollstonecraft and others began changing the world in what became one the biggest revolutions society ever experienced. I am talking about feminism, the fight of women for equal rights in all respects and don't let the world kid you: The fight is not done yet. You don't believe me? Well, there is one simple example that will prove that to you:

How do you call a man that lives a promiscuous life? A ladies-man, a womanizer, a pick-up artist. Actually all rather "positive" terms. Right?

How do you call a woman that lives a promiscuous life? A slut.

It is a sad truth, but nonetheless it is the truth. That doesn't mean I support or condone people living a promiscuous life, I just wanted to show you an example of how different the sexes are still judged today.

This goes both ways however or why is it that usually it is assumed at the divorce and custody battle that the mother is the better choice to bring up the kids?

But still in recent years the term "feminism" has started to have a somewhat bitter taste, even for me as a woman, who considers herself a modern woman.

Let me tell a little about me to explain my point of view: I am from Spain, the home of machismo but I was brought up relatively liberal. I learnt that a woman has to remain true to herself and be independent. Only if you are independent you can make choices based on what you truly want and need. It is not fair to use a husband or partner barely as a provider. They deserve a partner who wants them for who they are and not for how much money they make.

Interesting enough in Spain women never give up their own name to take up the husband's name when they get married. It may sound insignificant, but for me the name is part of oneself and a woman remains the same person even if she gets married.

So why does the term "feminism" bother me in the meantime? Am I not living it? It recently hit me, when I was reading an article on the internet about a play I recently saw.

The problem is that many women have started to behave towards men (under the pretense of feminism) the way men used to behave against women. You can see it everyday when you open your eyes. It can be something simple as bashing at a guy for offering to carry something heavy for you (I have witnessed this more than once!) or the way women behave towards male strippers. I know many of you are rolling the eyes at this example saying but this is only for fun etc. But how often have we complained over men treating women like flesh? If we complain about their behaviour how can we behave alike? Doesn't that make us hyprocrites?

I realized that many diehard feminists mistake feminism with "men-hating" and try to make men the villains in each story. They claim that every men is staring at them with lust or that they didn't get the promition because they are a woman. They protest over literature or movies because they don't focus enough on women or argue that if a woman is the villain it is only because of men pushing her around.

Whenever I hear or read these things I can only shake my head. It appears that we are falling into the other extreme and that some women want to subdue men to get back a them. Sorry, but as a true feminist I feel the urge to distant myself from these women.

Sometimes a woman doesn't get the promotion because a man is better qualified and if you want more women-focused are: Create it! I for my part would hate to receive a promotion just because the company has to fullfill their women quota in management. I want to get a promotion because I deserve it. In my opinion a women-quota is actually against the equal rights concept, since it could lead to man not getting the promotion because he isn't a woman. Doesn't that sound sadly familiar? The truth is that 30 years ago it was just the other way around it.

Also I believe that there are good men and bad men just like there are good woman and bad women.

Now let me tell you something: Men and women are not equal! Men can dream about it as much as they want to, they can never bear children and women have to accept that usually men are physically stronger than women. These are not a prejudices but biological facts. The truth is we should embrace these differences and take advantage of them.

What is true however is that men are not better than women but neither are women better than men, we are simply different.

So for me feminism means: We have the same rights but also the same duties in the world. If a guy offers to carry something heavy for me I appreciate it the same as if a woman that is stronger than me offers it. If I don't want to be treated like flesh I shouldn't treat men like it either.

Respect goes both ways!