The internet has enabled us in a unique way to communicate with people from all over the world. Unfortunately a branch of people has also emerged in the online community that are generally called "trolls" and who bully people simply in order to get a reaction. These trolls are sadly the living proof that the internet brings out the worst in people. While these trolls might be annoying for adults like myself their actions can cause serious damage to children and teenagers.
Today's teenagers are sometimes referred to as the "Generation Facebook" because they are literally growing up with the social network. While it enables even the shyest kid to make friends it has also given the bullies a larger platform to torture their victims.
There have always been bullies who have picked on weaker and younger children or on those who simply were different. But this usually ended after school hours or when the victims had places where they could retreat to. Unfortunately in times of social networks and smart phones this is no longer the case. These children are constantly exposed to insults and to gossip which spreads at the speed of light. In the present times any mistake or embarrasing situation is documented with a cell phone and shared with the world. Stopping this is almost impossible. Sadly some of those bullied kids don't have the strength and confidence to stand up to that bullying, some even attempt or commit suicide in their desperation.
The problem with the cyberbullies has two main causes. First the education they receive from their parents. Often enough these parents when confronted with the actions of their children wave those off as normal behaviour and as jokes among kids. They even claim it to be healthy so that children learn up to stand stand for themselves. This also goes for "classic" bullies, who in extreme cases even believe that it is expected of them to bully others. A scene from "The Breakfast Club" comes to mind, when we learn, that Emilio Estevez character has only bullied another kid to impress his father.
The other problem is the anonymity the internet offers. Although some people don't have a problem with bullying people in real life, most people wouldn't dare. But behind a keyboard many corwards become brave and start picking on others and insulting them. They don't feel remorse since they aren't seeing first hand the effect their actions are having on their victims. It is harder to ignore someone crying in front of you than it is to not think about what the person on the other side of the screen is doing.
The saddest thing about this problem is, that there is no solution for it on a larger scale and that all the steps we can take a tiny steps in our own behaviour.
We should start by keeping the courtesy during an argument. I know how hard this can be because being from southern Spain my temprament sometimes gets the best of me, especially when arguing with irrational and stubborn people, who actually insult me. But if more and more people try this, it might become a new fashion.
Another thing would be to work on the next generation. We have to teach our children, that bullying is not cool or funny, but hurtful. It is in fact cool to stand up for weaker kids and help them. We also have to support our children and show them that they can trust us. We might not be able to stop an internet wave, but sometimes having someone tell you: "It is not as bad as it seems" can make the world of a difference. Kids need to know that they are not alone, when they are being bullied. This gives them confidence and they might be able to stand up for themselves or at least to look for help.
Finally we should stop engaging internet trolls. These people want to shock and annoy you. The more of a reaction they get the more they push the limits. It is best to "starve them out" in their attention seeking. Our time is too precious to waste it arguing with ignorant people, while we can spend it with our children. All social networks have an "ignore" or "block" button to use and enjoy some internet peace.
